Picking Battles

Us Anaya's are in the middle of our whirlwind of weddings, showers, and events galore!...and since I'm now sick AGAIN, I thought it may be best for a catch up of the last few weeks:

Bennett's standing and scooting is turning into more and more walking.  Our little explorer has such wonder and amazement, it makes my heart soar watching him seek out his own personal adventures.  I know everyone warns you that once they start moving, everything changes...but honestly, I didn't know it would be to this degree.

Bennett has become so fast and so incredibly STRONG, we literally cannot take our eyes off of him for even a second.  But what amazes me the most, is how interested Benny is in such adult STUFF.  Toys are no longer interesting or amusing.  Whatever mommy has, whether it be a phone, cup, remote, etc...Bennett wants it.  I always bring the little man into the kitchen while I cook, and normally he used to play with his alphabet magnets on the fridge or push a car on the floor, but now, the pantry and pulling out bags, food, everything really, is the funnest thing for him.

Exhibit A:

At first, being the type "A" neat freak that I am, I would immediately start putting stuff back once he pulled it out, but quickly learned I was fighting an uphill battle that I'd almost never win.

Recently I've adopted a new motto with Bennett since he's now literally a little person with emotions, likes, dislikes and preferences.  I've found myself repeating over and over again, "Pick your battles Catie...pick your battles".

If Benny wants to play in the pantry...that's fine.  He's not hurting anyone and messes can be cleaned right?  The bathroom toilet and beneath the kitchen sink are a different story.  It's all about compromise.  The last thing I'd want is to inhibit his wonder and imagination but once something becomes dangerous...Bennett knows NO means NO!

...picking my battles.  It's so simple and keeps my normally erratic mind so much more at peace.

Bennett my son, you are becoming so big.  I desperately wish every moment with you could become etched in my mind, because I so badly want to remember it all.  I could cry thinking about how happy you make your daddy and I...it's honestly so hard to explain.

Your smile is like a switch.  It can easily transform any bad mood or rough day into simply the best.  Your snuggles and kisses...please don't ever grow out of those.  I need them...like a tired head needs a pillow or like coffee when the sun comes up.  They are essential.

You are essential.
You are our happiness.
You are our everything.

We love you more than love can exude little boy.

xoxo,
Mommy and Daddy

Cuteness

One of silly Bennett's newest things is showing how yummy he thinks things are.

It started last Friday when I was feeding him dinner. A bean and cheese quesadilla, his recent favorite.  He took a big ol' bite, chewed, swallowed and clear as day looked up at me with a big smile and said, "MMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!"

Don't ask me where it came from? 
I couldn't tell you. 

I mean, I suppose when he's eating I make yummy references to get him to eat, but nothing excessive I can ever recall doing. 

But now, I die.  Everything is "MMMMMMMMMMMMM"...even water!




Bennett, you seriously are so cute.
I love you in a thousand ways.

-Mommy

The Big 9 Months

Bennett Brandon Anaya...you are nine months old. 

Yes, I know...how did we get here so quickly?!?!

I feel like now that you are nine months old, you'll be one before the blink of my eyes.  Which is fitting, since I almost cannot blink anymore with you around.  Your mobility is insane, intense, and incredibly terrifying if I do say so myself. 

And yes, it happened...something every mother of a little mover dreads. 

The fall.

I've been beating myself up about it since it happened and honestly the constant reminder from others that it "happens to every baby at some point" just DOES NOT soften the feeling of guilt and remorse.  I put you on my bed and took my eyes off of you for one second. 

Then it happened...the crash, the thud...the fall.

Ugh...I'm sorry baby! 

Of course I was immediately terrified that I had killed you.  Scooping you up and squeezing you so tightly as if I were trying to suck the fear and pain out of you.  But like the little trooper you are, only cried for a minute then went right back to crawling around and playing as if nothing ever happened. 

How are you so good?

I slept with you that night...something I said I'd never do.  Well, sometimes plans change.  Sometimes mommy needs to sleep with YOU, instead of the other way around.

...and that's okay.

Friday was your 9 month well check and it was so nice to be at the doctors for a normally scheduled visit rather than all the previous sick visits we had in the past.  Oh and on that note, thank you so much for being illness free for 5 weeks now my love! 

Yay for you!

Your doctor visit went great and Dr. Kathy was so astonished to hear about the walking and climbing abilities you now have.  She was almost shocked and quickly reminded me to now practice intense caution with you now...yes, lesson learned thank you very much!

At 9 months old, you are such a perfect little piggy Bennett weighing in at 19 lbs 15 oz and 28 1/4 inches long.  The 40th percentile in both areas.  It's funny because whenever people see Benny, they mention how cute and chubby he is, but in reality, his legs and cheeks probably make up 50 % of his body weight. 

Haha, oh ain't that the truth.

Happy 9 months Bennett my love. 

Thank you for the lessons you continue to teach me day in and day out. 
Thank you for the smiles, hugs, hair pulls and drool - which I, of course know, are all signs of your incredibly loving nature.

xoxo,
Mommy

Heart Strings.

It’s no secret that I am an incredibly sensitive person.  Not in the sense that I get my feelings hurt left and right, but rather I care about things very passionately and aggressively that I am almost fully engulfed and consumed by them. 

My biggest crutches, of course are Chad and Bennett. 

Once I became a Mom, something changed.  A switch happened that I was not fully aware of until as of late.  I have these overflowing emotions that sometimes can get out of control, but in a good way. 

A positive way. 
In a, this is something that must be known and addressed, kind of way.

I remember telling a co-worker not too long ago, that I got weepy and moved by simply watching the Titanic 3-D trailer.  Silly? Yes.  But the underlying message runs much deeper than being an oversensitive female.  It’s knowing that life is so precious.  So magical.  And yet, so easily taken away from us.

I feel like once I became a parent – created, developed, and became responsible for this new little life, that fear, or knowledge rather became very apparent.  Life is short and we must live our lives knowing tomorrow is NEVER promised.  I have a hard time being away from Bennett and it’s not because I’m dramatic, but it’s the fact of knowing that the control is not in my hands.  I choose to be with him as much and I can humanly muster and there is nothing wrong with that.

Chad and I constantly struggle with time.  It’s no secret and we choose to openly discuss it in hopes of others to become more aware and understanding.  We see how sometimes our lack of capability and appearance comes off as detached and uncaring – but it’s quite the opposite.  We have love, and lots of it.  So much that we want to spread and share that love with everyone.  And we have Benny, who I’m not gonna lie, is one hot item.  But sometimes, when the rare occasion of time arises, we want it for ourselves.  To live in the moment of being a family and soaking up each other’s presence like human sponges…something we rarely ever get to do.

I learned yesterday that an old co-worker of mine was diagnosed with Leukemia.  Her name is Alison and she is 27 years old.

…27.

I remember letting one of my bosses know and telling him, “Really puts our ‘problems’ into perspective huh?”…and it’s so true.  I drove home yesterday in tears and quite frankly I’m stomaching all I can to fight them off right now.  I of course was so deeply devastated for Alison, but also, finding out something so crushing really DOES put your own life into perspective.  It makes you question all you say and do…well, at least for me it does.  I raced home with the intent of wrapping my arms around Chad and Bennett and quite frankly, had no intention of ever letting go. 

My heart breaks thinking of Alison’s parents.  I now wholeheartedly understand the mindset that a parent should never outlive their child.  I could not imagine a life where day in and day out I had to legitimately worry about Bennett’s existence.  It’s just debilitating.

But the magic that you ever so often find among any misery…is hope.

Without hope, we are nothing.  Without faith, leaves fear.  We must trust in God and trust in the life we are given and promise to live each day wrapped in gratitude and appreciation for simply that…TODAY.

-Catie

(For more information, or if you’d like to donate to Alison Pochebit’s recovery foundation please visit: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/alisonpochebit)

Eastergram!!!

Easter! Easter!  Benny's first Easter!

The days before Easter were pretty crazy if I do say so myself.  Our almost 9 month old is growing too incredibly fast!!!  Not only is Bennett standing and pulling himself up, but the past few days he's been walking around while holding onto things such as couches, tables, the wall, etc.  Last night I literally watched him crawl over to our dining room table, stand up and walk around the entire thing holding onto chairs and table legs. 

Seriously, walking already!!!!
You kill me kid.

The teachers at Bennett's nursery think that because he's one of the youngest lads there, he sees all the other babies walking around and he has so much incentive to do it himself.  Just like your over competitive mommy, never wanting to fall behind in any sort of feat!! 

Our weekend was so jammed packed, I think a little instagram goodness can help paint our Easter picture:

Played out front while Daddy went for a run.



Started standing and walking around the couch.

Didn't feel like wearing pants.

Celebrated Easter with the baby's cousins!!! (Bennett 8 1/2 months, Karyssa 4, Presley 3, Isaiah 2...plus little Baby Velazquez #3 on the way!!! yay!)

Our best family photo attempt of the day.

Went swimming for the first time.

No description necessary for this cuteness.  (Check out those 4 chompers!!!)

xoxo,

The Anaya's

Mommy Musings

Today, I have nothing in particular to discuss...which is nice. 

I love the freedom to simply pour out whatever I'm thinking or feeling at any given moment and just
Let.
It.
Out. 

...A far cry from the normal, reserved, day to day Catie.

The sun has been shining here alot lately, and I'm falling in love with the thought of summer and it's warm air wrapping around my limbs like christmas presents - urging them to get outside and DO SOMETHING. Or maybe it's Bennett, who, without a shadow of a doubt, scurries over to our sliding glass door, pulling himself up and pounding on the pane leaving perfect little baby prints which equally send the message...I want out!

My little munchkin brings me so much joy...I know I say it all the time, but quite frankly, it just does him no justice.  His smile is like the sun, warming my cold and tired soul from the inside out.  His eyes...they are like stars.  So strikingly beautiful, you almost can't help but stare.  Those cheeks...oh those cheeks.  I could eat them up!  Fluffly and full and so utterly kissable.

I could stare at you for days my love...that is if time, days, even seconds were something we possessed lately.  But we don't and that's okay, we have your whole life kid. 

Always remember that.

...and always remember you are loved.  Loved so much you just may explode.  But don't!  Soak it in, feel it's power and reciprocate that love always.  Show kindess and care to others and smile as big as your heart allows.  Find peace that we are here and always will be.

I love you my little owl,
Mommy