"Darling, your love is healing
It makes the bitter sweet
Warms the winter to spring again
Secures the cold's defeat"

-- Brooke Fraser

I've been having a hard time being away from Bennett lately. 
I can't tell you why, nor do I feel like I need any sort of justification for such emotion. 
I'm his Momma and I loathe being gone…simply put.

It could be his age, and how he's so exuberant and fearless.
It could be his smile, which is hard not to go weak in the knees when it’s so effortlessly flashed.
It could be his spirit…that intoxicating joy bursting out.

It could be anything.
Well actually…it’s everything.

He is everything.

My little baby is quickly becoming a little boy. 
His wonder is amazing and his intuition is just as incredible. 
I wish there were words convey the feeling of watching your child grow up. 
Astonishing.
Heart-wrenching.
Joyous.
...I could go on for days.

Benny my son, even your once chubby, stubby baby legs are now thinning out to be replaced by much longer, leaner (slightly) little boy legs.

...the little things are truly getting to me lately.

Gosh, kid...you are our world.

We love you little owl.

xoxo,

Mommy

 

Boys.

I'll be the first to tell you...having a little boy when you're a mom sure is a huge shock.  I now wholeheartedly understand when people look at their sons, bow and shake their heads in shame, exhaling a sigh of embarrassment mixed with disbelief and a never-ending love.  Throwing up their hands simply saying. "He's a boy..."

Bennett my love, you are such a boy!

You have bumps and bruises galore from your never-ending fearlessness and you seem to think that everything should be capable enough to withstand being thrown.  Toys, shoes, remotes, phones...you name it, you throw it!

You climb on and dangerously ride everything...the couch, chairs...yes, even dogs.

WHO ARE YOU?

Also, you for some reason think I'm some sort of glutton for punishment.  You slap me, kick me, bite me...use your toy golf clubs as weapons against me.  You pull my hair and boy do you pull it hard.  But never forgetting to snuggle me or kiss me when you know you've gone too far... you sour patch kid, you!

You're such a boy!

Aside from your recent jump into little boyness, you also, much to my delight, have fallen in love with reading books!  Bennett my love, you know your mother so well and thankfully you've acquired SOMETHING from me FINALLY...aside from your amazing ability to fall asleep at the drop of a hat!

You could be surrounded by toys and all you want to do is read.
All you want is books!!!

My heart literally melts kid.

Not only do you like to read...you love it.  So much so that you have been known to chase Mommy and Daddy around with your books, shouting at us until we read it to you for the 9,304,298 time.

Seriously...WHO ARE YOU?

Your favorite book by far is the Itsy Bitsy Spider...so much so that you have even got the hand movements down.  Very fitting for the baby genius that you are might I add.

Bennett...you are so smart...dangerously smart I think.

Like too smart for your own good smart.

You know how to do things that have never been shown to you and you figure things out after only trying once!!!

Again I ask...WHO ARE YOU?

Bennett my little owl, I cannot wait to continue to figure you out.  To watch your BIG personality quirks and habits grow leaps and bounds.  To be surprised day in and day out by your relentless spirit and sponge-like brain.  To embrace your boyness and your inherent weirdness, cos after all...you are OUR son don't forget.

I love you my little son...even when you beat me.

xoxo,
Mommy



 

Baby Kid

Dear Bennett,

When you turned a year old, I almost choked at the thought of you no longer being considered a baby.  But here we are...a day past turning 13 months old and truthfully kid, you'll always be my baby. 

Even when you have younger siblings, or when you're 30. 
You'll always be, okay?

Lately though, its been increasingly difficult to hold on to your babyness.  You're without a doubt a full blown toddler...and boy do you let us know that.

You know the power of "NO" and use it quite excessively, might I add.

"Bennett, can Mommy have a kiss?" 
(Shakes head no)

"Bennett are you hungry?
(Shakes head and hands no)

"Bennett..."
(Already shakes head no)

You are a crack up kid, but gosh a "yes" would be nice every once in a while.

Also, you are quite the sneaky and freakishly smart little booger.  You always seem to test mine and your Dad's patience and sanity.  You can figure out how to get past any and all of our baby proofing efforts.  You climb onto couches and dangerously high areas. And you know how to turn knobs and open pretty much ANYTHING!

How do you know this???
I know I have never shown you.

Regardless, you're a baby genius. 
Even if it does make us want to throw in the towel sometimes.

Bennett...my little owl. 
How are you so big? 

You really are a KID now and that just turns me to mush.  Your daddy and I feel like you are growing in front of our very eyes...LITERALLY!

You're so adventurous and curious and we cannot wait to explore this world with you more and more everday.

I love you my little son.

xoxo,
Mommy

Here we go again...

3 months...THREE! MONTHS!

That was the lovely, and valued amount of time since you have last been sick my little owl...three whole months.

Want to know how we feel about colds?

Exhibit A:

A picture worth a thousand words.  Have you ever seen this child look so serious, or annoyed...or like his mother? Because...we HATE colds!

Bennett my love, the first 9 months of your life was the biggest and best rollercoaster I've ever been on.  I grew as a mother, as a wife and as a person...all because of you.  You behooved me to practice patience, concern, selflessness and an all-consuming love that only a mother could know.  So many nights did we spend running hot showers, or propping you up with pillows while coating your little piggies and chest in Vicks.  Not to mention the numerous humidifier refills and crib sheet changes.

But this time…this go around at cold season, it’s different. 
As if I’m seasoned or a pro at this mommy stuff. 

Last weekend your poor little self woke up with a 101.7 fever.  In retrospect, if this was us a year ago, I'd be flipping out, crying, calling anyone and everyone trying to figure out how to fix you.  This time, I was calm.  I learned the hard way that so much is out of my hands.  So many times I prayed to take your illnesses on myself, which usually happened anyway might I add.

I simply scooped you up and patted your warm back as you melted your tiny self on my chest.  You were fire hot, but I didn't mind...snuggles and hugs are rare these days with you.

Over the next couple of days, your fever passed but on came the cold...which I knew would happen.  Again, instead of feeling defeated or helpless, your dad and I just turned on parent mode, sucked it up and cleaned up puke and boogers like it was no big deal. TMI, but it's just the facts.

One day, when you're a parent Bennett, you'll learn...I promise.

So, thank you my son for being so great when you feel so terrible.  Thank you for teaching me that I still have so much to learn.  And thank you of course, for just being you.

I love you,
Mommy